Living with self will as the center

1. Defeat yourself
"everyone's biggest enemy is himself". If you want to overcome everything, it is necessary to overcome yourself. If you can't even overcome yourself, how can you overcome everything and surpass others
I remember when I first learned roller skating, I practiced it with a friend. She is always bold to try, although she fell a lot of somersaults, she soon learned. But I dare not spend too fast, the reason is very simple: afraid of falling, although I did not fall a somersault learned, but the slide is slower than the snail. I think: if I try as boldly as she does, maybe I can learn it well. So I summoned up the courage to dig three feet to find my confidence. I went all the way from the east side of the playground to the west side of the playground. One attempt was that I tasted the sweetness, that is, this experience made my roller skating technology continuously improve. In fact, to overcome oneself is to overcome timidity< In the process of inventing electric lamp, Edison, the great "king of invention" in the United States, made countless experiments and also failed countless times. Finally, he tried more than 6000 kinds of fiber materials, and finally decided to use tungsten filament to make filament, which improved the service life of electric lamps. Edison's every invention is so difficult, including his hard work. It turns out that to overcome oneself is to fall down and have the courage to get up
in fact, it is not difficult to overcome yourself. Only by believing that you have the ability to overcome yourself, all difficulties will be solved.

2. 1、 In the past, it was my father who bought breakfast. But the breakfast my father bought didn't suit my taste. I suggested that I should be given 70 yuan a week to buy breakfast. If there was any savings in the breakfast fee, it would be my pocket money. This would kill two birds with one stone, I agreed.
on the first morning when I got 70 yuan, I rode my bike to the breakfast shop and bought fried eggs and bean curd. When I got home, my parents happily ate and praised me for completing the task well, and let me continue to work hard.
graally, I thought that if I bought cheap breakfast every day, wouldn't I save all the money? Then, I started to think of "corruption". Later, I still got up early to buy breakfast, but my destination was a small stall, where there were many cheap breakfast, and I could do a lot of goods with very little money.
one or two days later, it was calm and no one raised any objection, but on the fifth day, my parents protested: "why do you eat such a bad breakfast? Is there not enough money? " I turned my head and said, "the shops selling fried eggs and bean curd are being renovated these days. They are closed. They will reopen in three weeks. You can only have a hard time." my father was helpless. Seeing that my father believed it, I secretly laughed that I could make a lot of money.
because I was insatiable, I always bought poor quality breakfast for my parents, so my father raided my pocket money, Only a few weeks later, my pocket money actually accumulated a large pile. Then, my father went to the breakfast shop again, and the shop was still open, so my "embezzlement of rice money" was revealed.
finally, my father confiscated my illegal income and asked me to "lay off" for reflection“ This is the truth.
comment:
when I write "corruption", I don't write about "social corruption", but about my own experience of "corruption". Many students must have experienced this kind of careful thinking and experience of "corruption". Writing down my life in the form of composition is not only true, but also interesting - "my own story, It's the inexhaustible source of composition. Some students don't know where to start. It's because you ignore your own experience, forget your own life, and of course forget your own existence. The life of "stars" and "great people" are strange areas for you to know. You can't write a good composition in those areas, You may as well try to review your life, review those interesting stories that happened to you, put yourself in the position of "protagonist of composition", and write a composition centered on your "self" life. At this time, you will find that there are too many words you can write, and it will become very easy to write a composition.
2 Write a composition centered on the idea of "self"
example: no gratitude on Mother's Day
(fragment) it is a ty and necessity for my mother to give birth to me, and it is the value of my mother's survival, so it doesn't matter if I have great kindness. My mother once said this to me, and I also think so.
however, on Mother's day, I still want to buy a bunch of carnations for my mother, I don't want to thank my mother for her kindness, but I cherish her affection for me; My mother doesn't expect my gratitude, but she expects the exchange of family affection. Passing family affection means passing warmth. People who are warmed by family affection are the softest, so my mother holds carnations in her hands and tears of happiness in her eyes, and I'm also moved by my mother's feelings...
evaluation: I think every student has his own thoughts, because "everyone has a head.", Nowadays, more and more students are not good at expressing their thoughts in their own language, so they always try to make their thoughts close to the public thinking in their compositions. In the face of their mother's love, we should be grateful, and we must be grateful. This is public thinking. Therefore, when there is a composition topic of "gratitude", we all express "public voice with the same will", The value orientation of composition is "one side for a thousand articles". This method of theme construction, which makes "public thinking" replace "personal thinking", makes many students' compositions lose their unique thinking, and it is difficult to write good compositions with unique thinking. However, the composition of "mother's Day without words and gratitude" deviates the angle of thinking from the scope of public thinking, and everyone says "gratitude", "I" only said "I'm not grateful". I regard "kindness" as "should", but after "should", I want to buy a bunch of flowers for my mother, which is to pass on family affection. The "personality thought" expressed in this style makes people bright, fresh and reasonable, This is a true composition - one of the elements of an excellent composition is "seeking truth."
Third, write a composition centered on "self" emotion.
example:
after the Wenchuan earthquake, I asked my classmates to write a composition related to the disaster. One of them handed in such a composition with just a hundred words -
after crying, I was strong
in the face of the small hand holding a pencil under the ruins, I didn't know how to control my emotion - crying? No, I don't cry, because crying is cowardice. But, I still cry. My heart of compassion makes me cry. I believe that more people are crying. After crying, we will be stronger. I will use my hand to hold the strong hand that won't give in to the disaster...
comment: after reading this little composition to express my feelings, I was deeply affected by the feelings expressed by the author in his own way. This kind of real emotional expression made the composition transmit a strong appeal, and I cried. I made an excellent score for this composition - according to the general requirements of composition, although it is not excellent at all. The reason why I made this composition excellent is that I gave it a good score, It's because this composition has the quality of "words are the voice of the heart". Some students write about other people's "hardship", other people's "sorrow", other people's "strength" and other people's "misfortune", but they put themselves out of the business and let their identity become "spectators", Express your true feelings in simple words: compassion and strength are both in it. What we see is not just the ruins, but the spirit of sadness and unyielding on the ruins. Writing ability is a kind of ability to express emotions, and the ability to express emotions is innate, so your writing ability is born - only, You sometimes neglect to grasp and excavate this natural ability. Please write a composition centered on "your own feelings", so that you will have the feeling of "writing with your heart"

3. I read a lot of articles to find and correct my problems. Now I recommend an article that was effective for me. I hope it can suit the remedy to the case and make your life more relaxed and happy Although this article is not easy and pleasant at all, "the root, characteristics and coping methods of egocentric people" egocentric 1. Focus too much on one's own needs and interests, and endow life with the meaning of "having fun feeling that one is the most important person and thing, and getting everything one wants in one's heart". They think that they have the right to dominate others, or they have the right to be inlged by others, and they just accept and don't pay (laziness). They think that as long as they want things, they can achieve them smoothly. I can't accept information that is inconsistent with my own understanding. I don't want to bear a little frustration, a little pain. If you feel a little dissatisfied, you will lose your temper and be anxious. Everything is competitive, win and lose. This kind of unrealistic mentality will proce a strong sense of frustration, even decadence, suicide and other extreme performance when it can't satisfy everything in the face of real competition. The contradiction and gap between high expectation and reality are very big. 2、 Egocentrism has replaced the sense of "self responsibility". It has been trained to take nothing but nothing, and never learned to deal with problems in other ways. It leads to the loss of independence, and we don't know what we can do for ourselves. When faced with difficulties, there is only one way to deal with them - to ask for help. In the process of waiting for others to help, they will lose more and more courage (and confidence) to face difficulties, and their psychology will become more and more fragile. Without the opportunity of practice, we can not experience the joy of success (more successful experience can enhance the sense of achievement, cultivate self-confidence, and develop the habit of "winning without pride and losing without despair"). The egocentrism proced by being inlged is the main source of inferiority. The shock effect of frustration will be stronger for those who are less prepared. For those who are cowardly, they always hope to get foreign aid, so the shock will be stronger. All kinds of setbacks will follow the patient's movement rules. From childhood, egocentric people focus on their own happiness and pain, and have no courage to face difficulties (indivial psychology believes that courage is a direction of social interest). They also lack social interest in their own activities (solving life problems requires a certain degree of social interest intervention, as well as the ability to cooperate and communicate with other people). If there is no such ability, there will be a strong sense of inferiority, and the consequences. There are many kinds of inferiority complex, but "evasion" and "indecision" are its main types. As an inlged child, he found that his personal superior goals and the situation that he didn't want to deal with others were destroyed, so he decided that failure would always follow him. This kind of highly strengthened emotion is always e to the psychological and physiological interaction caused by the fear of the final failure. Since childhood, egocentric people have accepted the "belief" of retreating from certain tasks in their own laws, shifting the burden they should bear onto others' shoulders, and even forcing others to accept it regardless of others' will (masochism). His philosophy of life is "if I fail, I may hurt my self-esteem". He gets relief from retreat, so as to protect and maintain his self-esteem. He would rather suffer than destroy his personal sense of value. It is better to keep his concentration in the best state than to pursue his efforts to achieve success. By deleting or eliminating all the things that make him feel defeated or threatened, To rece frustration in the way of escape. The path of feature development is particularly vulnerable to restrictions, and as a result, he always seems to make the same mistakes. The pampered child hopes to have everything without any effort and trouble. He not only often feels the threat of failure, but also is too sensitive to failure (inferiority complex), impatient (self-restraint), hostile, greedy (egocentric), unable to persist (escape), and emotional. He is dissatisfied with most things, envies others' success, refuses to make efforts (laziness and inferiority complex), and is always afraid of failure, Fear that others find themselves worthless (projection), always retreat from the task of life (unable to be responsible for themselves), and defend their retreat, so that retreat becomes more reasonable. Resistance 1. I really want to change myself, but when I move forward independently from others, I will feel very nervous and anxious. 2. We must stop the behaviors we like, such as drinking, pitying ourselves, manipulating others, shrinking back, and wasting time doing nothing. These old behaviors accumulate over time, and may have brought happiness. Restraining the pain caused by these behaviors often makes them timid. Even the strongest psychological person, the process of changing old behavior and establishing new behavior will bring him psychological conflict and anxiety. For some people who are not easy to balance, the pain of this process may be more serious. Nevertheless, the pace of moving forward can never be stopped. If we take a step backward, we will have to work ten times harder in the future. 3. Functional behavioral disorders. At first, it is accidental, because it satisfies the needs of some aspects (evades benefits), and the number of behaviors increases, so that they are fixed. On the one hand, they feel anxious about their maladjusted behaviors; On the other hand, the enthusiasm is not very high. For example, a college student who was distressed by his symptoms of neurosis was beating around the bush with a counselor, always emphasizing his pain and avoiding substantive problems. The reason is that once his symptoms are removed, he must face the competition in learning, and he feels unable to win in the competition. Illness can make him escape from this reality. His inner thought is: it's not that I'm inferior to others, but that I'm sick now. If I'm not sick, I certainly don't have to be worse than anyone else. Changing the maladjusted behavior can rece anxiety and improve the way of seeking satisfaction in this form. When we eliminate the old maladjustment behavior, we must replace it with new behavior. At the same time, we must take corresponding countermeasures to the deep psychological problems exposed by resistance. 4. The disappointment of repeated medical treatment. Be aware of your inner thoughts and the possible negative consequences of this motivation. On the basis of this understanding, we should establish good motivation. Countermeasures cognition: 1. We must have the firm determination and confidence to correct our own behavior, and have a belief that "I can do it". We should appropriately self imply that we should sow self-confidence in our own heart. 2. No matter what you do at ordinary times, don't be too hasty. Don't set too high a goal, or you will be easily frustrated. It can be broken down into small goals, so that it is easy to win, and every success is an incentive to themselves, which is concive to improving self-confidence. We should treat setbacks with a tolerant and open-minded attitude, and make appropriate "frustration attribution", that is, we should analyze the causes of setbacks correctly, and then find ways to overcome difficulties. Faced with life problems, there is not enough preparation. This situation originated from childhood, and it is difficult to completely correct the experience and emotion of althood. When our fantasy is disillusioned, or our subjective cognition conflicts with the real world, we will willingly accept everything in the real world, and then revise our subjective view of this fact. Judgments or conclusions often originate from specific events. Due to unreasonable distortions or simplification, they become abstract concepts or vague emotions. They often have a great impact on people. It can be seen that what really affects our psychology and behavior is not the fact, but the explanation of the fact. The amount of confidence and courage we show in our interpretation is never enough if we rely on experience. Should we reflect on whether our explanation is contradictory? Is the conclusion of this explanation constructive for us? This is especially important for isolated alts. It is not difficult for us to see that the above evaluations are often inadequate, because our areas of activities are very limited. Even if we only make small mistakes, we often dare not face problems directly because we are helpless. Society is far more complex than family, full of dangers, challenges and various uncertainties. Even with all kinds of protection from parents at home, once they enter the society, they have to face the new environment, new life style and interpersonal relationship alone. Nine times out of ten, it is impossible not to encounter setbacks in life. It is objective and inevitable. We should correctly understand setbacks. Behavior: when eliminating the old uncomfortable behavior, we must replace it with new behavior, experience setbacks personally, and eliminate fear (e to the increased sensitivity and terror of Mystery). Emotion: the right development of the desire to live, failure is the darkness before the dawn, followed by the dawn of success. That's what I am. It's very painful. The landlord's opinion can be said to hit the nail on the head. All people's psychological problems can be summed up in this way: clearly knowing that this is not right, clearly knowing what they should do and what they need to pursue, but they can't change themselves at all. People are especially weak in the face of new things and new situations, As a result, they are hindered from self-development. The lack of methods and methodology, that is, the lack of countermeasures / methods is particularly terrible. They are powerless and helpless to everything in reality. The feeling that there is no way is extremely pathetic!! Therefore, if you can change your habits at will and shape the character you need, it will be of great benefit even if you can't do everything smoothly. Your analysis and countermeasures are also brilliant, especially the last two paragraphs of the countermeasures, which can be said to be the most brilliant method I have ever seen, because I also have this problem. I have also imagined and even demonstrated many kinds of "behavioral / psychological solutions" from the perspective of methodology in order to change myself, but they all ended in failure, because I can't always solve specific problems. I venture to add a little more, please forgive: (1) behavior: replace the old behavior with new behavior, aiming to realize the transformation of the basic environment 2) Mindset / attitude: to replace the old mindset / attitude with a new mindset / attitude in order to initially adapt or adjust / guide new behaviors. Between (1) and (2), you can either act first and then attitude (attitude adapts to behavior), or you can act first and then attitude (attitude guides behavior) 3) New feelings come into being and deeply support the establishment of the psychological basis of new behaviors and new mentality. The reason why we no longer use the saying that "new feelings replace old feelings" is that every one of our feelings is very precious, and there is no question of who replaces whom. Instead, we should focus on the generation and cultivation of new feelings to gain new impetus in life, and different feelings should not be mutually exclusive (from the fundamental aspect of human beings as a whole) 4) Behavior - mentality - emotion - behavior... Cycle, people's self will change

4. People can not always be in a good mood, since there are setbacks and troubles in life, there will be negative emotions. A psychologically mature person is not one without negative emotions, but one who is good at regulating and controlling his own emotions. So, how to be good at regulating and controlling your emotions< One is consciousness control. When anger is about to break out, you should control yourself with consciousness, remind yourself that you should be rational, and also make self suggestion: "don't get angry, anger will hurt your body.". People with self-restraint can generally control< The second is self encouragement. Comfort yourself with certain philosophies or famous sayings, and encourage yourself to fight against pain and adversity. Having fun with yourself will make you feel better< The third is language regulation. Language is a powerful tool to affect emotions. If you are sad, reciting funny sentences can eliminate sadness. Self reminding, self command and self suggestion, such as "controlling anger", "forbearance" and "calmness", can also regulate one's mood< The fourth is environmental restriction. Environment plays an important role in regulating and restricting emotion. When you are depressed, going outside can play a regulatory role. When you are in a bad mood, you can play games in an entertainment center to relieve your depression. When you are worried, the best way is to see funny movies< The fifth is comfort. When a person can't achieve a certain goal, in order to rece his inner disappointment, he can find a reason to comfort himself, just as the fox can't eat grapes and says that grapes are sour. It's not self deception. Occasionally, it's a good way to relieve your emotions< Six is transfer. When the fire is rising, consciously shift the topic or do something else to distract the attention, then the mood can be relieved. Playing ball games, taking a walk and listening to pop music can also help to divert unpleasant emotions

seven is catharsis. When you encounter unpleasant things and grievances, don't bury them in your heart. Tell them to your intimate friends or relatives or cry. This kind of catharsis can release the bad emotion accumulated in the heart, which is beneficial to keep the physical and mental health, but the object, place, occasion and method of catharsis should be appropriate to avoid hurting others

eight is humor. Humor is a special emotional expression, and it is also a tool for people to adapt to the environment. With a sense of humor, people can maintain a positive and optimistic attitude towards life. Many seemingly troublesome things can be dealt with in a humorous way, which can make people's unhappiness disappear and become relaxed immediately

nine is to go into nature. The beautiful mountains and waters of nature can often shock people's hearts. When you climb the mountain, you will feel open-minded. If you look at the sea, you will feel detached. Go into the forest, you will feel everything is so fresh. This kind of good feeling is often the incer of good mood

there are many ways to deal with emotions, and keeping watch is the most important and key. Most people's confusion and pain are unconscious, unable to see themselves clearly, unable to understand others, so they are confused and uneasy. But looking at yourself is also the most difficult thing to do. Because you are bigger than heaven, it is difficult for you to put down and become modest. It's also because we don't know how to cultivate our mind and find a way to calm down

the source of negative emotions can be negative experience or negative inertia. The cause of your negative experience is just a borrowed catalyst

if the emotion is beyond one's control, the best way is not to release or suppress it, but to do nothing. Learn to set one's mind first, because when the negative energy is too big, if it is released carelessly, it may not even be able to bear it, and it is easy to affect others. Repression is absolutely impossible, because the source of the problem is repression

if you are upset, you need to be calm first, take care of your emotions, don't identify with them, don't judge them, let them appear, put their feelings in the heart, even though they have tears in their eyes and disordered breathing. The heart is the biggest emotional control center. To stabilize emotions, we must start from the heart and learn the method of centering. As for the method, everyone has to find it by himself. There are many ways. The key lies not in the law, but in your heart and will. I believe that I have the ability to go all out

the way of cultivating one's mind is different from others. There is no need to compare, just go on your own way.

5. The division of materialism, idealism is the material and consciousness which is the first, materialism that material determines consciousness, idealism that consciousness determines material, self is subjective idealism, in addition to objective idealism

6. "Willpower is directly related to mind control. Once you realize that you can let positive thoughts crowd out negative thoughts, you're a big step forward in your life of self-discipline. " Jim Randall learned to decompose
it takes a lot of will to create motivation for himself and achieve higher goals. Then, it will be much easier to decompose a big goal into small ones and realize them one by one.

7.

The world of composition is a colorful one. In this world, there are many roles. In many roles, who is the leading role“ "I" is the protagonist, because I am most familiar with "I" life, I understand "I" thinking, I know "I" emotion. If the composition is self-centered, it is easy to grasp what to write, how to write and where to start < / EM >

< EM > (full text) < / EM > in the past, my father bought breakfast. But the breakfast my father bought didn't suit my taste. I suggested that I should be given 70 yuan a week in the future, and I would be responsible for buying breakfast. If there was any savings in the breakfast fee, it would be my pocket money, killing two birds with one stone. Dad thought about it and agreed

on the first morning when I got 70 yuan, I rode my bike to the breakfast shop and bought fried eggs and bean curd. Back home, mom and dad happily eat up, praise my task well, let me continue to work hard

graally, I began to think that if I buy cheap breakfast every day, I can save all the money? So I started to think about corruption. In the future, I still get up early to buy breakfast, but the destination is a small stall, where there are many cheap breakfast, and I can do a lot of goods with very little money

But on the fifth day, my parents protested: "why do you eat such a bad breakfast? Is there not enough money? " I turned my head and said, "the shops selling fried eggs and bean curd are being renovated these days. They will be closed and reopened in three weeks. You can only have a hard time." Dad is helpless. See Dad believe it, I secretly smile, I can make a lot of money

because I was insatiable, I always bought poor quality breakfast for my parents, so my father raided my pocket money - Oh, only a few weeks later, my pocket money actually accumulated a large pile. Then, Dad went to the breakfast shop again, and the shop was still open, so my "embezzlement of rice money" was revealed

In the end, my father confiscated my illegal income and asked me to "lay off" for reflection. Ah“ This is the truth

comment:

when the young writer writes about "corruption", he does not write about "social corruption", but about his own "corruption" experience“ Many students must have experienced the experience of "corruption". It is not only true but also interesting to write down the life you have experienced in the form of composition. My own story is an inexhaustible source of composition. Some students write without writing, do not know where to start, because you ignore their own experience, forget their own life, of course, forget their own existence“ The lives of "stars" and "great men" are unfamiliar areas for you to recognize. You can't write good compositions in those areas. When you feel blank in writing, you may as well try to review your life and those interesting stories that happened to you. Put yourself in the position of "protagonist of composition" and write a composition centered on your "self" life. At this time, you will find that there are too many words that can be written, and writing a composition will become very easy

No gratitude on Mother's Day

(fragment) it is a ty, a necessity, and the value of my mother's survival that my mother gives birth to me, so it doesn't matter if she is very kind-hearted-i used to say that to me, and I think so

However, on Mother's day, I still want to buy a bunch of carnations for my mother to wish her a happy and healthy life. It's not gratitude, it's family. I don't thank my mother for her kindness, but I cherish the family affection she gave me; My mother doesn't expect my gratitude, but she looks forward to the family relationship. To pass family affection is to pass warmth. The hearts warmed by family affection are the softest, so my mother holds carnations in her hands and tears of happiness in her eyes, and I am also moved by my mother's affection...

evaluation: I think every student has his own ideas, because "everyone has a head". However, more and more students are not good at expressing their thoughts in their own language, so they always try to make their thoughts close to the public thinking in their compositions. In the face of mother's love, they should be grateful, and they must be grateful. This is public thinking. Therefore, as soon as there is a composition topic of "gratitude", everyone expresses "the public voice of the same will" one after another, and the value orientation of the composition is "a thousand words one side". This kind of composition theme conception method that lets "public thinking" replace "personal thinking" makes many students' compositions lose the uniqueness of thinking, and it is difficult to write good compositions with unique thinking and stand out But the composition of "no gratitude on Mother's Day" deviates from the scope of public thinking. Everyone says "gratitude", but "I" only says "no gratitude"“ "I" regard "kindness" as "should", but after "should", I want to buy a bunch of flowers for my mother, which is to pass on family affection. The "personality thought" expressed in such a style makes people bright, fresh and reasonable. It is true to express one's thoughts in one's own language when writing. One of the elements of excellent writing is "seeking truth"

After the Wenchuan earthquake, I asked my classmates to write a composition related to the disaster. One of the students handed in such a composition with just 100 words -

after crying, I was strong

in the face of the small hand holding a pencil under the ruins, I don't know how to control my emotion - crying? No, I don't cry because crying is cowardice. But, I still cried, compassion heart let me tears, I believe there are more people crying. After crying, we will be stronger. I want to use my hand to hold the strong little hand that will not succumb to the disaster...

evaluation: after reading this essay to express my feelings, I was deeply infected by the feelings expressed by the author in his own way. This kind of real emotional expression, so that the composition transmitted a strong appeal, I also cried. I've done a good job on this composition - according to the general composition requirements, although it's not excellent at all. The reason why I gave this composition excellent is that it has the quality of "words are the voice of the heart". Some students write about other people's "hardship", other people's "sorrow", other people's "strength" and other people's "misfortune" in their compositions, but they put themselves out of the business and let their identity become "spectators". The author of this essay locates himself in the "emotional center" and expresses his true feelings in simple words: compassion and strength are both in it. What we see is not only the ruins, but the spirit of sadness and unyielding on the ruins. Writing ability is a kind of ability to express emotions, and the ability to express emotions is innate, so your writing ability is innate - but sometimes you ignore the grasp and excavation of this natural ability. Please write a composition centered on "your own feelings", so that you can have the feeling of "writing with your heart"